In this episode, Hollis and Kimmy continue the Relationship Series by discussing the art of compromise. They’ll get into the ways in which we can navigate compromise without harboring resentment, and the importance of upholding integrity, values, and self confidence in the face of compromise. They offer insights and practical tips for finding a balance that works for both you and your relationships.

Listen to the full episode.

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Hollis: Hi, Kimmy.

Kimmy: Hey, Hollis, how are you doing?

Hollis: I'm good. I'm excited to jump into the subject we're exploring today.

Kimmy: Me too. I'm really excited to talk about compromise because I feel like it's something I've grown to understand a lot more. I'm still figuring it out day-to-day, but it makes me feel proud whenever I come to a new stage of understanding compromise and how it strengthens relationships when done in a healthy way.

Hollis: Yeah, it's interesting because compromising in one relationship might not necessarily apply in another. It's an ever-evolving area of study for ourselves, figuring out what works and what doesn't in different contexts.

Kimmy: Right. Did you look up the etymology of compromise?

Hollis: I did, yes. And it makes sense looking it up. But I think that it's a really beautiful origin—it came from "com" and "promise," and in late Latin, it means to make a mutual promise, which I think is really beautiful. When we think about compromise, similar to commitment, it has this feeling of restriction or having to hold ourselves back from something else that we might want. But in fact, it's also about committing or promising something to ourselves that we really want or agree to in our relationships. The idea of a mutual promise sounds like the bringing together of two people's desires, values, hearts, and joys. When I read it, it brought a certain level of levity to the term.

Kimmy: That's such a lovely definition, and it's such a good reminder of how empowering compromise can be, because it's sometimes just a perspective shift. You're making a choice, this compromise, that you weren't considering before, maybe because it hadn't been brought up to you. So marrying that perspective with someone else can be really hard to initially come to terms with. But when you do get to the place where you're able to drop a little bit of that ego and take in someone else with empathy while still holding your values, you can reach this new level of understanding between two people, which is really exciting. It allows you to crossover to new territory, not just on your own, but with someone else, which is just another level of strength.

Hollis: Yeah, absolutely. In that sense, it really is expansive and enlightening because there are so many things that, like you said, you wouldn't have thought of or explored on your own. To be able to discern what your boundary is between exploring something new that's been offered to you and something you don't want to explore because of your beliefs, values, or integrity, there's sometimes a fine line. Depending on what we're talking about, compromises can take many forms. When you were talking, I was thinking about how my partner and I bought a house about a year and a half ago, and we've been building this home together. We've gone through one remodel of our kitchen, but we're also looking at furniture, wall colors, and all of our future plans for the house. Our aesthetics are similar but different, and there are many things where our initial reactions might differ. But I've recognized that my initial reaction is usually no, asserting my role as the designer in this relationship. However, I've come around to being open to what he finds beautiful and wanting to make him feel comfortable in our home. There are things I'll definitely say no to, like never allowing a leather couch in my house for many different reasons.

But that is because of my ethics, you know? I've been a vegetarian for over 20 years, so I'd like to stay away from animal products as much as possible. In my mind, there's no real reason to get a leather couch—it's just excessive. And then, on top of that, there's the aesthetic reason; I would probably cringe every single time I had to sit on or look at a leather couch. But all that to say, when we're talking about these different levels of compromise, it's this really interesting interplay of how much do I want to support the person I'm compromising with or potentially compromising with, and how much do I need to support myself?

There's that balance of what does that look like, and especially, you know, it takes on different forms every time. Compromising on a piece of furniture in your home is going to be really different than compromising on where you choose to live or if you want to have kids, or these kind of bigger questions that come into relationships, even if we're just talking about different beliefs, people's jobs, or how we're going to support ourselves financially in the relationship and support each other's careers. All those things, when we're talking about compromise, they take on these different formations and all have to be kind of applied and looked at individually.

Kimmy: I have so many questions on everything you just said.  

Hollis: About the leather couch specifically?

Kimmy: So I wish my reason for not wanting to have a leather couch was my ethics. But if I'm being honest, it's the memories of when... just because we need to talk about the leather couch for a little bit longer, when...you know, like any time I would sit on a leather couch growing up, I just have this memory of, like, my thighs just sticking to it and just feeling sweaty. Anytime I would be on a leather couch, I just felt uncomfortable, like... when I think of the leather couch I'm like, oh, God, the thighs. And I grew up in South Carolina, where you're just always sweaty no matter what. So...

Hollis: We're going to come back around to this metaphor later in the podcast, guaranteed. Like there's so many things in here that are metaphorical.

Kimmy: Yeah. Ohh yeah. Like what is your leather couch boundary? So... But that is interesting to think about, the aspect of building something with someone else, and I think that there is so much compromise that comes within that. And I am wondering if you and your partner are looking at decorating and you have really strong feelings about it...is there something in the back of your head where you're like, this is my territory to kind of make bigger decisions, you know? Like this feels like it should lean a little bit more on my opinions or my vantage point. And then there are areas where you would kind of put that in his court a little bit more because it feels like he has stronger opinions. You know what I mean?

Hollis: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I think decorating the house is a good place to start because, you know, I have a background as a designer. I come from a very artistically minded family, so that has been my realm and that's always been what I've kind of assumed in the relationship and in my life. It's something that I identify very strongly with in myself. And so it's something that I want to express. And frankly, many times when he and I are looking at things, I'm like, my opinion is better. Like my choice is better. And 100%, that is my ego getting in the way of looking at potential other options or exploring other options that he might really enjoy or love.  

So it's in that sense, it's kind of questioning like, well, what is right or wrong here? Is my opinion right because I consider myself to have more design sensibilities, or is his opinion right because it's something that he looks at and thinks is nice and is something that he would be very happy to live with? And who really does get the authority here? And I think that's the part about compromise that gets sticky in the sense that there's kind of a power dynamic going on like, who has the authority to say this is right or wrong? Is it you or is it the other person? And who has the power to say this is what we should be doing? You or the other person? And that's not to say all compromise is that way. But sometimes when it comes to the things that you don't agree on, it can start to feel that way. And you kind of want to get almost competitive about it or combative about it because it's like, well, I have the authority about this, whereas the other person is saying, no, I have the authority on this.  

So I guess if you're listening to this and thinking of something in particular that you're like, 'Oh yeah, I know what that feels like. I've had those difficult compromising experiences in my life,' then thinking about where your ego is getting in the way? Where are you so attached to a vision or a version or an identity within yourself that actually doesn't need to be upheld here? I definitely think that there are moments where there are parts of ourselves that need to be upheld, but with a lot of these things, I think it's helpful to at least explore what would the alternative be? You know, what would the other person's vision, what would that actually look like and feel like?

Does that actually feel good? You know, is it possible? If I allowed myself to make space for what this other person wants would that actually feel really good because I'm letting go of my ego and I'm making room for this other person in my life? Or would it feel like I'm self-sacrificing too much and it would actually feel like a detriment to me if I compromise here? Does that make sense?

Kimmy: It does. I think that there is a comfort that comes from thinking that we're always right. So when we're confronted with the choice of whether or not to shift that perspective or look through someone else's eyes and see what's appealing to them, it kind of sets us a little bit off balance and we're uncomfortable. But, as you were saying, you can look at that and challenge it and say, is this something that really needs to be upheld? Or can I step into this new experience and see how it goes? But there's a comfort that comes from just knowing that you can make the decision for yourself and you've got full autonomy over where those decisions take you. I think it's really challenging to be able to challenge yourself and drop some of that attachment and ego to make space for someone else because compromise is making space for someone else and someone else making space for you.

Hollis: I like to think of relationships as if you are walking alongside each other, not crisscrossing but walking forward, arm in arm together. You can still be two individuals, but you're a stronger unit when you're together. However, relationships require two people coming together in some capacity, and there has to be the ability to make room for the other person in yourself and for them to be able to make room for you, as you just said. And also, as we said in the last episode about commitment, it's about what room do you have, what space do you have to make for that other person? Not because you have to sacrifice anything, but because you genuinely want to, because you genuinely have space to hold, care, and support another person. When we allow ourselves the space to invite somebody else into our lives and make room for somebody else, there becomes this inherent security and safety in that support and in that mutual sharing of one another. And when I think about compromise in its healthiest sense, it's that—I've made room for this other person. I want them to feel like they can be fully themselves with me. They can relax and kind of unwind and unfold with me. And I want them to feel safe enough to do that in the way that I would want them to also be able to do the same for me.

Kimmy: Yeah, yeah. I did want to ask about forging forward with someone else in a way that feels like you two are on the same team as opposed to superficially just going through the motions while you're building something together. Like, what does that process look like? Getting to a place of compromising where it feels really mutual, and you're compromising without harboring any resentment or without just going through the motions? I do think that if you're a person who is very adverse to compromise or hasn't had a lot of practice in it, it can sometimes be good to just force yourself to go through the motions so you can experience that letting go of self a little bit and making more space for someone else, especially if that's something that's really important for you. But all too often, and I've experienced this myself, we compromise as a way to kind of feel like we're doing the right thing, but it's not always grounded in the care for someone else and just genuinely wanting to build something that's really positive for you and the other person.

Hollis: Yeah, that interesting play between 'doing the right thing’ and actually doing what feels really aligned for you in the relationship. It’s definitely really interesting because we start to get into the conversation of people-pleasing. Many people, myself included, are notorious people-pleasers, and it can feel good to take care of another person and please somebody else. But eventually, you realize at some point you're starting to really build a lot of resentment and frustration because there's too much self-sacrificing and pleasing the other person and not necessarily getting enough in return.

So, yes, let's talk about this a little bit. I think this goes back to, again, what we have sort of been talking about in these last few episodes, which is committing to yourself first in any relationship, being able to commit to yourself first is paramount because you are committing to your values, your integrity, your own needs that will allow you to feel really whole and supported and connected to yourself. From that foundational place, it's then asking yourself, if I'm being asked to compromise in this way, does it challenge my sense of integrity or my values, or does it challenge my confidence or energy in a way that actually is pushing me over the edge of what I give? If you're not used to compromising, let's say you haven't been in a committed relationship in a long time and it's something new, it can be really good to explore those edges where it feels uncomfortable to compromise because then you can start to see, does it feel good to give the other person what they need and let go of the needs that you think are needs but maybe are just preferences?  

I think the ideal situation is that you enter into the relationship with a sense of self-possession, that sense of knowing yourself, your values, and your needs. At the same time, the other person is kind of in that same place of knowing themselves and being able to trust themselves. So when you go into the relationship, there's a compatibility of self-trust rather than relying on the other person to give you that sense of security or to define your values for you or to bolster your confidence for you all the time. Having a partner that can bolster your confidence when you need it is necessary and helpful, but knowing how to do that for yourself is also key.  

When we're talking about these two people walking alongside together, I'm talking about two people who know themselves, trust themselves, and can also rely on the other person for added support, encouragement, and growth to really flourish together. I recently told my partner, 'I don't need you in a real way, like I love you so much, but I want you in my life. I can take care of myself, pay for the roof over my head, take care of my food, and I have friends and family and a lot of support around me. But I want you in my life, and so I'm committing to you and I want to see you happy, healthy, and thriving. So we're in this together to figure out how you have that life and how I also have that life at the same time.'

Kimmy: I think that's a really powerful distinction between need and want. You want someone, that can kind of allow you to make compromises that feel really aligned because you're making them for something that you want, not in a grasping, flailing way; they still feel very aligned.

Hollis: Yeah, and I think also when we're talking about relationships, we're talking about a certain level of compatibility as well. In order for any of this to work, that compatibility can sometimes be determined pretty quickly when you meet somebody. You can say, "Oh, we really flow well together. It feels really natural to be with this person. Our conversations come really easily and banter is great," etcetera. However, there are times when, as you deepen a relationship, you start to recognize the incompatibilities, and that's when questions of compromise start to come up. You have to ask yourself, when does it reach a level of over-compromising myself because of the incompatibility? And when does it start to feel like I'm losing myself because of the incompatibility? There's nothing wrong with incompatibility. The question is really when do the incompatibilities stack up to the point of me turning myself into a pretzel to try and make this work, and I'm losing myself in the process? When do you start to bridge into that space? How do you know when it's really time to walk away because it's too much? It's over-compromising, and the other person potentially is also either over-compromising or not showing you the same kind of compromise on their end.

Kimmy: Right. What is that inner dialogue for you when you notice moments where you are feeling resistant to compromise or feel like you are over-compromising? Do you have any tools that sort of help you through those? Or have helped you through those different aspects of compromise?

Hollis: So, it's when you're challenged by a compromise or a potential compromise, and then when you've over-compromised, right? Or when you... How you navigate both of those scenarios? OK. The first, when you feel challenged by a compromise, when you're confronted with something, let's say your partner comes to you with something that you're not sure about. Let's use an example so that it feels a little more grounded. Let's say your partner wants to go somewhere for dinner and you're like, "I don't want to go there, or that doesn't necessarily sound good to me." I think the initial response is there's a felt experience, right? There's like, that doesn't sound good. There's a physical reaction of, "That's not what I need. That's not what I want." And then it's checking in with your body and asking yourself, "What is it that I'm resistant to here? Is it because they chose it and I didn't get to choose it? Is it because I actually am really craving something that I want? Can I propose that to them? Is it because financially I don't want to go out and spend money tonight?" It's asking yourself the nuances of the compromise instead of it just being a flat "no." That's even an exploration that you can have with yourself or you can have with the other person. But I think going into the details provides insight into the dynamic of the relationship. Then it's also exploring the nuances with the other person and exploring the questions or hesitancies you have. That mutual compromise, how can we do this mutually together in a way that we both feel supported? And how can we explore the options? There are also always so many options. How can we explore the many options where maybe you enjoy one thing and I enjoy the other, and we don't have to have the exact same thing all the time?

Kimmy: Yeah, that's a really important part of it, right? Is the action that comes after a compromise, because there's always someone, I feel like, who's compromising a little bit more or not always, but that's often the experience. And taking the time to offer the same sort of response to your partners when they're making compromises for you is so important, like sharing some of that gratitude. So you're noting where that's happening because if we don't do that, we can feel like we're compromising all the time. If we are not actually practicing the gratitude and seeing the ways in which our friends and family and partners are compromising for us, you're always going to feel like you're the one who's doing the work, and you're the one who's having to change your plans for someone else or shift and bend to something else.

Hollis: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, the appreciation component, the recognition component is really key because we're also talking about an exchange of energy, right? So if somebody is giving you what you want and then you are giving them what they want at these different times, it's like a gift. It's space that they've made for you or that you've made for them. It's this really wonderful sharing of opinions, ideas, choices, energy, and of yourself. And recognizing when the other person has done that for you, and expressing that appreciation, just makes everything so much healthier. I can't tell you how much my partner and I thank each other for things. Like we're constantly saying thank you for this, thank you for that. It just shows respect and an awareness of what the other person is doing. I officiated a friend's wedding years ago and the best piece of advice that any of the wedding party shared with me was, "Respect your partner more than anyone else, because you spend the most time with them." It can be applied to any of our relationships that we're really committed to and that we spend a lot of time and energy with. If you extend that appreciation and respect, it creates a much healthier, joyful, and easeful environment for that energy exchange to move more naturally. It's definitely like a combatant to any future resentment, or at least provides space for if there is resentment to come up in the future.

Kimmy: Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. It just is so much warmer. It leaves so much more space.

Hollis: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.  

Kimmy: I also was thinking about the places where you can have a little bit of levity when you're in these conversations. And anytime our opinions are challenged or our beliefs are challenged or something that we want to do is challenged, I think we can go on the defensive a little bit. Again, you're like stepping outside of that comfort and, in a lot of cases it's, you know, if you're compromising something, it will be a really big decision. And there are so many situations where that happens, but I think a lot of fights can kind of come from those, like really little things. When something just kind of is blown out of proportion because it's just a build-up of junk of frustration and of not feeling seen, you know? But when you can have a little bit of levity and kind of put the compromise into the context of our world and how important it is, I think that's a good thing to do. Again, to sort of lighten the load of your ego a bit.

Hollis: Yeah, absolutely. I've been reading this book called "The Limits of My Language," and it's actually, the subtitle is "Meditations on Depression," but she talks a lot about how, or at least in the beginning of the book, she talks a lot about how humanity and life are just absurd. Like there is nothing that makes any sense. Humans just make no sense at all, really, most of the time. And it's important to be able to approach life with that understanding that a lot of times things don't make sense and being able to do that, you can find a bit of that levity, or at least a little bit of the humor in the chaos a bit. And it's absolutely that kind of breaking apart of your ego or the attachment towards it all has to look like this or it all has to be laid out in this way or it all has to unfold in this way because it's really just chaos. And we can't control anything anyways. There have been a lot of moments recently with my partner where I've been asking myself, you know, how much do I really care about this and how much would I care more about his happiness and us being happy together.  

And I think really, so many fights, a lot of fights, yes, definitely pop up for very valid reasons and very real reasons of not feeling like you're being seen, not feeling appreciated. Feeling like you're over-compromising and that all needs to be addressed. But I think what you're saying is absolutely key that there is too much of the "I need it to be this way, it has to be this way" to make me feel like I'm in control or to make me feel like I'm getting what I want. And I think a lot of that comes from, you know, a lot of childhood experiences that could be addressed or just general insecurities that could be addressed, but a lot of it also just has to do with, you know, our ego, feeling like things need to look and be a certain way or present a certain way. And most of the time they don't. Most of the time they really, really don't and letting go of some of those attachments really invite space for so much more possibility and ease and way less stress when it comes to some of these choices that we're making with other people in our life.  

And I do really want to emphasize because I know many people, and myself included, who are people pleasers who are very natural at compromise and making space for other people. And I want to emphasize that maybe even coming up with a list of non-negotiables in your relationships, it might be different from friendships to family, definitely with family-specific family members, probably, and partnerships, like getting really clear about what are some of the non-negotiables, what are your values and when have you felt them being challenged or when have you felt them being embraced, you know, getting kind of clear on what some of these boundaries might look like, even just a starting list can be really helpful in understanding when you might tend to veer into over-compromising? Or when you might compromise without realizing it in such a way that makes you feel uncomfortable in yourself or feel like you've kind of betrayed yourself in some way because that is also kind of a possibility when we go overboard of feeling like I betrayed myself, I betrayed my values. I betrayed who I am and that really, really doesn't feel good. So just getting really clear about what are the big non-negotiables and then letting yourself just kind of start to observe what are what are some of the other non-negotiables that come up frequently and then also what are the boundaries that I have that are a little bit more fluid.

Kimmy: Have you seen Practical Magic?

Hollis: Oh my God. Of course, I watch it every year on Halloween.

Kimmy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too. Me too. It's like the movie that you have to watch on Halloween with chocolate cake and margaritas.  

Hollis: Midnight margaritas.  

Kimmy: Yes, exactly. You know the part where Baby Sandra Bullock is writing up her perfect person and he has one green eye and one blue and he flips pancakes in the air? So. My best friend and I did that a couple of months ago. I guess maybe it was around Halloween when we did it and we were writing them down like non-negotiables and we kept saying things and I think one of mine was like ‘wears jewelry but in a cool way.’ And I’m like, this can't be my non-negotiable. So we’re like, laughing about all the things that I had. And then there were other things like, you know, ‘must respect my family. You have to get to know my sister,’ and like, these things that are so good to have for yourself because it reminds you of what's important for you. And what you are working towards every day and when you're with someone, they're likely going to see those things and they are an extension of you. So they're going to want to be a part of it because when you're with someone and they see you, they will naturally see those things. Most of the time, if it's a really good connection and you have that compatibility and you're being held by the other person.  

I also had a friend who did something similar and she had like a list of notes on her phone and it was like, you could scroll for so long and some of them were like, ‘you don't have to like Taylor Swift, but you have to respect her’ and ‘you must try my bakes’ and, it's just interesting person to person what is so important. And I think that that is another exciting thing about getting to know someone and getting the opportunity to compromise with them is you're really embracing another personality and whole other life experience and you're stepping into that experience with your own experiences and that allows you to expand and grow in yourself, but also with this other person. Especially when it's approached from a place of care and love and interest in someone else, it's an exciting thing to do. And then, of course, as you were saying, you've got to have those non-negotiables to make sure that it's feeling exciting. Making sure that it really does feel exciting and that that you are also excited by someone else making space for you. Feeling seen and loved and valued by someone else.

Hollis: Yes, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. And I do think, you know, hearing those lists, it kind of goes back to what we were talking about in the last episode, always feeling like there could be somebody better out there and like, if you get somebody who matches the majority of things on your list, but not all of them and you're like, oh, well, you know, there could be somebody better out there.

Kimmy: Mm-hmm.

Hollis: I do think that it's important to recognize, as we've been saying, what are the things that are ego-driven and what are the things that are actually really important to you on kind of a soulful, gut level and recognizing just like which ones have some leeway. And because of that leeway, because I'm not holding a hard and fast line to those things, there could be a possibility for bigger opportunities. Like hearing the Taylor Swift thing, you know, I totally understand that, not as a Swiftie, but just as a person who knows these things. Like, you know, my mom absolutely hates Madonna. I think if she ever met somebody who really loved Madonna, she would be like, "Nope, can't do it" and just recognizing, you know, what is the gravity of those beliefs and those opinions for you? And what is the flexibility?

Not to say that anything is right or wrong. You know, absolutely, if it's very, very important to the person for their partner to respect or not like a certain musician, I'm not the one to judge how important that is to them, but also just recognizing, like what is the weight of this non-negotiable for me? And how much do I need to hold to it and how much can I relax it a little bit and by relaxing it a little bit, that then invites space for more compatibility. Or more possibility for growth or insight or exploration with the other person. Which is everything we've already said on the podcast, but just to reiterate that one more time.

Kimmy: And when we're talking about compromise, it could be valuable to go through your list and just by anything that's related to ego, just put ego in parentheses so you can come back to. And be like, OK. That one is just for me, that was just for me.  

Hollis: Yeah. And if you want to go farther, you know the coach in me is like, OK. What, like what is that ego-driven thing about? Like, where does that come from? Most ego comes from some sort of insecurity or some sort of sense of lack or doubt. So where is that serving for you really? And again not to say that the Taylor Swift need or the Madonna need are ego-driven for these people. But if you're going through your list and you're marking it as like, this is kind of ego-based, this kind of ego-based, where does that come from? Also, even just to give you some clarity around if you do have to advocate for it, you know where it's coming from for you.

Kimmy: MHM. OK, I have one more question about compromise and how we build the muscle of compromising. If you're someone who is not used to compromise or you feel really nervous or anxious bringing up something that you would like to find compromise on, how would you suggest going into that conversation with your partner, with a friend with you know, a family member to kind of make sure that you're holding yourself and also making space for them.

Hollis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we will talk about that more in the communication episode that's coming up after this one. But I do also want to say that something that was offered to me years ago by a teacher that I love and refer back to very, very often, is making a request. And if you've recognized that there's something that you need that you're not getting but you want to ask for it or advocate for it, simply making the request. Just by saying, 'Can I make a request?' and not even saying, 'Can I make the request of blah blah,' but asking your partner or your friend or whatever can I make a request for something and that just opening the door and then they say yes, that gives you the permission to then make the request.  

It's almost like you're getting the validation from them of saying, yes, I'm making room for you. I'm here to hear you out. And then that opens the doorway for you to say, 'I would really love it if we did this,' or 'if you wouldn't mind doing that,' or whatever it is. But I think that always starting with the question. Of opening that space before just naming what it is that you want makes it a little easier. It's like an extra step to get you to be able to say it, and I do it all the time. I say, ‘Can I make a request?’ all the time.

Also, because, you know, it kind of softens the power dynamic too. It almost puts the power in the other person's hands. It validates you. It feels like an open invitation to explore it together. So that's my number one tool for that, especially if you're out of practice. It's like a really easy turn of phrase that you can use anytime you feel like you need to express a need.

Kimmy: I love that. It's the opposite of, you know, when growing up, your mom would say, ‘May I make a suggestion?’ And you're like, no, absolutely not!

Hollis: Yeah, absolutely. It is the exact opposite of that because it's like, you know, an opinion like a hard judgment is coming, you know.

Kimmy: Yes, I have a friend whose mom has turned 'may I make a suggestion' into this, which is the acronym MIMAS.

Hollis: Oh.

Kimmy: So instead of saying 'may I make a suggestion?' it's just MIMAS and it's my favorite thing and we say it to each other all the time now.

Hollis: I think that would drive me insane. That's not something I would be able to compromise on. I'd be like ‘just say it!’

Kimmy: It is so it's so funny. The first time I heard it, I was like, what does that mean? And now it runs through my head every time I want to pass along a suggestion.

Hollis: The acronym language is just, you know, it's proliferating our own language now. I just it just blows my mind! It's like we can't, we don't have the energy to say the whole words anymore. Like what was going on?

Kimmy: We...I guess we don't. We're all just too tired, too burnt out. Everything just becomes acronyms. And the acronym I just did the quick acronym for 'may I make a request' as MIMAR.

Hollis: Oh, perfect, MIMAR.

Kimmy: So if anyone wants to adopt MIMAR, just don't say it to Hollis, she'll hate it.

Hollis: I kind of like MIMAR. It's a little like 'meep meep!'

Kimmy: Merp meep merp!  

Hollis: MIMAR!

Kimmy: MIMAR!

Hollis: OK, we're officially dissolving. This has been a great episode. Thank you all for listening. If you have any questions or requests, please let us know. Again, we always love to hear from you and. Yeah, we'll see you guys in the next one.